Recently, I have heard of a visitor that seems to have overstayed their welcome in many of our homes. Their name is irritability. In the midst of this long and trying year I have noticed within myself and others that our fuses are shorter, and even at times nonexistent.
Although we may be doing less, everything seems to take more energy. We rarely leave our homes, seldom see others, and often spend hours a day staring at our screens. This can create feelings of isolation and purposelessness, not to mention the additional stress resulting from financial and health related fears. We can end up easily snapping at a partner or peer, which then in turn creates feelings of guilt or self-criticism. So, what are we supposed to do with this unwelcome visitor who seems to be determined to stay for the long haul?
First, I think that we need to give ourselves permission to be simply surviving. I often hear phrases about “thriving over surviving.” Well, what if thriving is not a possibility right now? Throughout this season, I have often referenced Maslow’s hierarchy of needs. Within this theory, Maslow states that our basic necessities such as food, warmth, safety, and rest have to be met before we can start to navigate deeper issues such as love, belonging, and self-esteem. Many of us have had our security stripped away in one or more of these areas.
So, how can we care for ourselves and others while simultaneously simply surviving? How about deepening an awareness of the connection between your body, mind, and heart? Below I have provided a way to give each attention and care:
Body: Give yourself time to do a body scan each day. We can easily forget to fuel or tend to our bodies in the way they need. Simply giving ourselves food, water, or rest when our body is aching for it can lengthen our fuses. Never heard of a body scan? Check out this free Body Scan as a way to form your understanding and begin your practice
Mind: How often are you allowing yourself to sit in silence and stillness. It takes intention to notice the thoughts and narratives driving our reactions and behaviors. Allow yourself 10-15 minutes today to notice your thoughts and beliefs about yourself, others, and the world. How can you challenge the negative ones and feed the positive?
Heart: Although we may snap at others, we may also be critical and hard on ourselves due to our lack of patience or care. Attempt to practice some self-compassion. Not sure what that means? Check out this TedTalk for some guidance.
Instead of robotically running through your day and continuous to-do list, try to nourish your body, mind, and heart this week. See how it lengthens your fuse and allows you to push irritability out of its comfortable seat in your home. We have enough chaos externally, so let’s try to find some peace within.
About the Author:
Brittany Duncan (she/her), MA, LPCC has her Bachelor of Arts in Psychology and her Master of Arts in Clinical Mental Health Counseling. She enjoys working with clients navigating relational grief or dissatisfaction, transitional difficulties, attachment, trauma, and identity formation. Through a holistic and integrative approach, Brittany assists clients in exploring their innermost needs and patterns of relating in order to break the cycles they feel stuck in.